The fog has
cleared, and now
all I see
is empty road
ahead of me,
so I press
on the gas.
The world outside
becomes a blur.
I must be
in a Toyota
because the pedal's
stuck, and the
brakes have failed.
I've lost control.
I should see
my exit soon,
but I'm moving
so fast that
I think I
might miss it.
I like the middle stanza. It gives the poem some culture and personality which I feel you tend to leave out of your poems in fear of making them too specific and detailed. The more detail the better! I challenge you to write one poem that has as little vagueness as you can manage. Do it. Now. Go! I'll be waiting
ReplyDeleteWell, I tried (Into the Jungle) but I think it kinda got away from me. Let me know what you think. I almost feel like I started some good descriptions, but that I could have done more with it if I had the patience for it.
ReplyDeleteI realized while writing Jungle, though, that the reason I tend to not be specific/detailed is less because I'm scared of too much detail, and more because I don't usually feel like more detail is relevant/will add anything, though I guess in a way, it's the same thing. In the case of Highway, pt 2, the Toyota was relevant because of the brakes bit.